1 June 2008

Give us strength

Ever so often, people, or groups of people undergo crises that test them. And I don't mean stuff like exams, or the proverbial Oxonian 'essay crisis'. No, I'm talking something really bad. Something that means the difference between life and death. And how you pull through these defines you as a person.

The fear of losing someone really close can, apparently, be really bad. Really, really bad. Ma experienced it last week, when her ma was taken to the hospital to repair a fractured leg. Age and a medical condition have made my grandmother really weak, so much so that operating was dangerous. During the operation, she lost 14 units of blood. For a while it was touch and go.

I can only imagine how Ma went through it. I don't know what it feels like to not know whether your mother will make it through the next few hours. Dad cried, with me in his arms, when we got to know that his mother had died. I shudder to think what Ma went through. It affected me quite a bit sitting all the way here in Oxford, and I didn't even know about the operation until after it had been performed and everything was fine.

And such things always create tension. Life gets disrupted. Ma is taking care of Nani pretty much round the clock. I know Ma, she'll pull through this. She's pulled through a lot in life.

What's really crap is that I can't be there for my mother. Nani has her daughter, but her daughter doesn't have me. Ma needs her family to support her while she's taking care of her mother. It makes it a bit easier, both on her and on Nani.

I know I don't believe in God. I haven't decided wether I'm atheist or agnostic. But its times like these that suddenly make me wish that there was a God, just so I can say, "God, give us strength. Let us gather our courage and face this united, as a family. Let's all take care of Nani, and be supportive of Ma, to help them both trough this. Let us love each other to make things better."

They say love conquers all. Then let it conquer the situation my family finds itself in...


  1. Don't worry. Both are fine. And we know, that wherever you are, you will always be a source of strength and support for every member of the family. For now, focus on your exams. Best of Luck!

  2. God, is just someone we have faith in when we can't have faith on anything else.
    The Athiest/Agnostic dilemna is the worst of the kinds one can be in.

    P.S- Since I'm too late to comment on post I hope all's well. :)