10 September 2006

Time Travel

So, Advitya asks me what I would do if I had usage of a time machine. Well...

1. Travel back to the time when Himesh Reshamia was recording for Aashiq Banaya and inject him with as many strains of the common cold I can find. No nose. No song. No Himesh mania.

2. Travel back to when Modern School last changed principals and engineer a horific car accident to end the shortest term anyone has ever had as principal.

3. Travel to the time when George Bush Sr. and his wife were conceiving and give them both a lethal overdose of peanut-butter.

4. Travel back to Jallianwalla Bagh and make Dyer's guns disappear as soon as that bastard yells 'fire'. And equip the Indians with all knowledge I can gather about Chinese water torture.

5. Go back to when Microsoft was formed and buy ALL the shares I could.

6. Go and mix really potent laxative in the Ausies' lunch right before the 2003 world cup final.

7. Show Colombus the goddamned route to India he was looking for. And then discover America myself.

8. Drown Dino in a huge pile of Brontosaurus shit.

9. Drown Noah and his kin while leaving the other animals unharmed on Noah's ark.

10. Go to Hitler's school and beat him up. Just so that can say so later.

11. Go bach and systematically murder everyone who had anything whatsoever to do with pioneering the concept of clothing.

12. Go back to the time of creation and tell God about Laloo Prasad Yadav.


  1. ROTLOL!!!
    Nice...loved each one!

  2. Come on Saattvic, I thought you had an imagination!

  3. Er, I thought time machines also travelled into the future??